It's Time to Move On
by random-becca
Summary: Just a one shot about Leah at Sam and Emily's wedding. Leah starts to realize that being his "lee-lee" is in the past, and it's time to really move on.


"Leah!"

"Don't talk to me right now, Seth," I warned my younger brother.

He backed away and just nodded. I needed to be alone right now. This was starting to become way too much for me to handle. Seth was the only one who had even dared to follow me out the door. I had to shake him quickly, if anyone talked to me now, well I was afraid that this dress would get ruined. I thought I could handle this. I thought Sam and Emily's wedding would be a piece of cake. I was wrong. I made it through the ceremony with just pangs of heartache, I could shake them quickly. But the reception. Ugh. I was ready to break.

The cold air outside felt good against the my skin. I was always so warm lately, I wished that I could be cold for just a few minutes. Wished that I could shiver. I hated this. I hated the fact that I wasn't normal. I was a freak of nature, and a freak of even the supernatural world. Now that was something hard to accomplish.

Why couldn't it have been me? Why couldn't he have imprinted on me? I loved him, I'd always love him. I knew that he couldn't control it, but why couldn't it have just been me? We had been so great together. We were perfect. I loved him. He loved me. And then…he didn't. It just wasn't fair. Time and time again during my childhood I'd pout and complain, and I'd just get told life as not fair. But never had I believed my parents. I never thought…but life really wasn't fair. Nothing was fair, and that was never going to change. Instead of me ending up with the man that I'd loved, my cousin had. If she had just no come down to see me, if I would have just went to visit her. This would have never happened. I'd still be his Lee-Lee, and he'd still be my Sam. Not Emily's Sam.

I was never one to cry over things. Everyone had always thought of me as kind of bitchy, sort of rough. But never as bitchy and as rough as I was after Sam and I had ended. I had never gotten the closure that a relationship like that needed. Never. Everyone told me that I didn't have to go through this all alone, that they'd be there for me. But when I tried to let them in, tried to show them how much I was hurting, it always came out wrong. Like with the pack. They all think that I would rather have them all suffer with me. I just don't know how else to get it across to them.

I slid down the cement wall of the building that the reception was being held in. The rough surface against my back through the damn dress felt sort of good. Like I was feeling a different kind of pain for once. When I was on the ground I pulled my knees up to my chest, pulling the dress down around my then wrapped up legs, and buried my head and in a table made up of my legs and arms. The tears that had been threatening to fall for so long, finally started coming. But I didn't care anymore. This was too much. Why? That was the one thing that I just could not stop asking myself? Why wasn't I good enough to be his soul mate? Was there something I could've done to make him imprint on me?

Life really was not fair. The way all the girls at school had envied me when I had Sam. Those looks of envy were certainly gone tonight at his wedding. They all looked at me like I was trash, a toy in a game. They had no idea. No idea at all. If they could have one look inside my head and just see how much this 

fucking hurt! If they could only scream as I wanted to scream, run away like I wanted to, then maybe they'd understand. They'd never felt like this. Not one of them.

Oh those damned vows! Those were the point at the wedding when it started hurting badly. All the gushy "I do's" and love you forever stuff. Sure, sure, Emily could get all of that. Emily just had to waltz down and visit me to get the man that she belonged with forever. Me? I had no hope. There was no more hope for me, I was convinced. I didn't belong anywhere anymore.

But I couldn't be a coward. I would not run away from the pain, I wouldn't fight it. I needed to face this. I would never get over it if I didn't face it. But would I get over it anyway? I hoped so, I wanted to get over it so bad. I wanted to look at my cousin and my ex and really be happy for them. I wanted to not feel resentment when I looked at my best friend. I wanted to fall in love again. I wanted to be with someone who thought I belonged with them. I wanted somewhere to belong. I needed to pick up the pieces.

I lifted my head and took a ragged breath. I was going to be okay. I was going to get through this. I was no longer going to hold on to being his "Lee-Lee". It was going to take time. But this was the night I was going to start trying to feel better. I wasn't going to wallow anymore. No more depressing stuff. I was going to make everyone think I was less annoying than Paul, instead of just Jake and my brother being convinced of it. I was going to get through this. It was time to pick up the pieces. After all, I'm Leah freaking Clearwater. I'd battled vampires, dealt with a pack of annoying morons, and phased into a werewolf. Heartbreak was not going to stop me. I would get through this. Just like I'd gotten through everything else in my life. So, I stood up and took one last collective breath before returning to the reception inside the building. And I left Lee-Lee sitting there on the ground, crying to herself about the past. Leah was ready for the future.


End file.
